Dealing with challenges as you settle in and think about your future and family.

Dorota Gromnicka, a psychologist and frequent contributor to Nutricia Poland, gives us helpful advice on how PKU people can better approach relationships.

Letting someone in takes courage

Everyone needs relationships. We learn to build them, develop them and sometimes terminate them. We all long for acceptance and support to be recognized for who we really are. However, many people struggle to be genuine in relationships, often out of fear that we are not "enough."

Some are concerned about their weight, others are concerned about PKU and dietary requirements, and still others are concerned about their financial situation. Everyone, PKU and non-PKU people alike, struggles with the desire for intimacy and the fear of rejection.

Forming close relationships requires some emotional growth to be able to let go of our fears, or at least have a healthy perspective. If we don't love and accept ourselves, we'll constantly seek approval from others and live in fear of judgment or inadequacy. Real connection with another starts with connection with yourself.

If you find this challenging and are concerned that a condition or diet is interfering with your ability to have healthy relationships, then it's not about PKU or your diet, it's about your own self-image. PKU is not a barrier to building relationships or starting a family.

Keep the communication going

Having PKU also requires a practical approach to maintaining a relationship: dealing with logistics, responsibility and the ability to look after your own wellbeing.

Dietary requirements should not be minimized or hidden from your partner. This can only lead to risky and unpleasant situations. Since your low-protein needs are part of your life, integrating this part of yourself is essential for a lasting, long-term relationship.

Take the time to learn how you and your partner can be taken into account for each other's needs and preferences, including adapting to PKU's dietary needs. PKU people need to take responsibility for their own health, but the love and support of a partner goes a long way. Make sure you clearly communicate what help you need and how you need it. Discuss any concerns or fears openly.

Keep in mind that most people don't know what PKU is and may need information about the condition and its needs. It is not realistic to expect others to intuitively understand these needs or to respond to them preemptively. It's important to have conversations, show how you manage your diet, and explain what you can and can't eat.

In the end, we all have to grow up

Achieving stability in a relationship is only possible with maturity, which means reaching a stage where we fully embrace our adult responsibilities.

In my practice, I've found that many adults struggle to meet their basic needs: getting enough sleep, planning meals and healthy eating, exercise, maintaining relationships, work-life balance, and time to rest. If you're looking for stability and consistency, then open communication is necessary to ensure that you have the space for physical and mental recovery when things get too much for you.

Adulthood is also an evolving process, strongly influenced by the different events and stages of life that we experience.

Entering into a long-term relationship and starting a family is a big step. Being sincere, expressing how we experience situations, and discussing what matters most to us is essential. Finding ways to compromise is an important part of a healthy relationship. Taking the time to understand yourself, experience different situations, and discuss seemingly obvious topics, such as having children, parenting values, and division of responsibilities, is critical.

Consult your treating dietitian as soon as you decide you're ready to have a baby. They will help you become mentally and physically healthy before and during your trip. For women with PKU, maintaining proper Phe levels helps minimize the risks of maternal phenylketonuria syndrome.

"Maturity comes with its own set of challenges, and offers opportunities for learning and growth. It involves embracing 
new experiences alongside existing losses. That's life."

Courage to embrace adulthood

While some may be good at hiding it, "growing up" is a challenge for everyone. Don't be too yourself. Emotional growth means making mistakes, learning, discovering, and facing the unknown. It means welcoming the new but also experiencing losses. That's life.

While having PKU is an added challenge, it doesn't have to get in the way of forming meaningful relationships. We must have the courage to accept ourselves, have the will to face our fears, and have the courage to be vulnerable.

In case of difficulties, seeking help can make all the difference. Reach out to your treating dietitian to talk about mental health resources for support when needed.

Article by Dorota Gromnicka, a psychologist and contributor to Nutricia Poland. Translated from Polish to English and edited in Dutch for ease and understanding.